![]() And in her confusion and deep desire for affirmation, she commits to a campaign to prove her love and earn his, wholly puzzled as to what offense she has committed to compel him to treat her so poorly, even while receiving his condemnation in her spirit. The abuser demands that his wife be submissive and accepting in the face of his malicious treatment, cold countenance, debilitating words, intimidating posturing and threats to her sense of security – incrementally becoming her ruler rather than her rescuer. The beautiful balance between the protector and the protected begins to shift, becoming more akin to one of predator and prey. Rather than affirming, honoring and protecting his bride, the abuser misappropriates his size and strength, perverting the male role and exploiting his wife’s inert desire to please. From what I can tell, most women naturally seek to fill these roles and find genuine fulfillment as they do. It becomes my objective to be all things selfless, to fill the roles of nurturer, encourager and helpmate. So that I might be seen, I strive to be beautiful, not merely on an external level, but from the inside out. He wants me to know that I am loved and for me to feel secure, content and satisfied. He hears not just the words that leave my lips, but those that emanate from my heart. In fact, being convinced that I am not alone in my fantasies, I confess my belief in what might be called fairy-tale love, even a “prince,” an honorable man who singles me out above all other women – his “princess.” He sees me as intrinsically beautiful and special, worthy of pursuit and protection. We come alive with the telling of a sweet love story and hope that one day we might be at the center of one. Her deepest desire and greatest joy is to have that truth affirmed in her life, particularly by a man – first her father and then her mate. Her spirit dares to assent to the understanding that she is uniquely wondrous and worthy of love and affection. A woman wants to know: Do you see me? Am I lovely?Įvery young girl and woman longs to be known, to be seen. Eldredge betrays with painful vulnerability and sensitivity all of womanhood’s ever-pervasive yearning. In the must-read book, “Captivating,” co-authored with her husband (John Eldredge, the well-known author of “Wild at Heart”), Stasi Eldredge lays bare the deepest cries of a woman’s heart. ![]()
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